


Tender Things

by Rroselavy



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-30
Updated: 2010-06-30
Packaged: 2017-10-10 08:13:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/97553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rroselavy/pseuds/Rroselavy





	Tender Things

_Will you recognise me?  
Call my name or walk on by  
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling  
Down, down, down, down_  
\-- Simple Minds

 

"Sanzo?" Goku asked as he slid into the private onsen besides the blond monk, "what's the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?"

Sanzo rolled his shoulders and cast a sidelong glance at the younger man's toned body before answering.

"I brought you here because I love you, and I'm paying for it because I'm in love with you," he replied flippantly.

Goku audibly shrugged and Sanzo closed his eyes and tipped his head back, resting it against the lip of the deep stone basin.

"What?" he asked finally, his lips drawn into a thin line. When no words were uttered in response to his prompt, Sanzo sighed and turned his head, pinning his lover with his violet gaze. He knew that Goku understood how much he despised talking about love and commitment and all those things that reminded him of how attached to the teen he actually was. All he wanted was to truly live in the moment, and right now that moment was enjoying a few days of pampering at an obscenely expensive ryokan, and perhaps a few good rolls in the hay as well. But Sanzo could see that there would be no peace until the conversation reached its natural conclusion. Turning the question on Goku, he gritted, "How about you tell me the difference."

They sat in silence for a few moments, the only sound the muffled drip of water and the lapping of rippled waves against the rim of the pool. Finally Goku spoke up, his voice uncharacteristically soft.

"I think when you love someone, you'll do anything for them," he began, faltering slightly when Sanzo snorted. Goku took a deep breath, closed his eyes and then continued. "But when you are in love with someone ... when you're in love with them, then you feel complete, no matter where they are, because you know that they will come back to you."

Sanzo rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. It seemed the monkey had actually thought about the question.

"Come here," he said gruffly, opening his arm in a beckoning embrace. Goku snuggled against his shoulder, one arm coming to rest across Sanzo's abdomen, the other sliding behind his back. "I'm not going anywhere."

"But—"

"But, nothing."

"Sanzo," Goku said, his voice resigned. "Some day you're going to die an' I'll be alone again."

"And then I will find you again, baka, just like I did this time." He brushed his lips against the soft hair on top of Goku's head. In his mind, though, he wondered how many turns at the wheel it would be before he was reincarnated human. He'd not exactly led an exemplary monk's life.

"Nah, next time it'll be my turn." Goku dipped his head and planted a soft kiss in the hollow created by the blond's sternum.

Sanzo sighed. Apparently Goku had been actually ruminating over the question, and the monk didn't know which disturbed him more, that the monkey was capable of such introspection or that Goku had found a way to accept his fate and not allow it to drive him mad. Sanzo wasn't so sure that he would have been able to approach the conundrum and its conclusion with such dignity. Hell, he knew he'd be pissed and put upon as sure as the day was long; he got that way when deprived of smokes. He could no longer imagine a life deprived of Goku.

He tipped Goku's chin up and brushed their lips together in a long, soulful kiss, attempting to telepath all the emotion, all the love that he could never exactly come right out and say.

Goku pulled away slowly, his hand coming up to brush Sanzo's cheek, liquid amber eyes gazing searchingly into violet. "I'm okay with it, Sanzo," he murmured.

The problem was, he wasn't okay with it -- the idea of him growing old and dying while Goku remained young and virile. And there would be other lovers.

"I'll wait for you."

"Idiot." Sanzo pushed the brunet away. Scowling, he added, "don't make promises you can't keep."

Goku laughed then. "You forget, I was celibate for five-hundred years."

"Only because you were alone." The words were thoughtless, much like his dismissal of Goku's question about love, and Sanzo regretted them immediately. Before Goku could react, the blond pulled him back into his arms and was holding onto the brunet as if his life depended on it. Goku melted against Sanzo, and the monk buried his face in the soft cloud of hair, breathing in deeply. "I don't want you to wait, I don't want you to be alone ever again." He didn't want that kind of devotion hanging over his head, it would weigh him down as the years passed by.

Goku's shoulders rose up and down in a shrug. "What were you just saying about making promises I can't keep?" When tilted his head up, his eyes were bright and clear, Sanzo noted. He wished he could say the same about his.


End file.
